Bekloppt Chronicles Part I: Taming the Tigress
by Fro Ninja
Summary: Hans has a shitty job, lives in a shitty apartment, and has had too many shitty relationships. Luckily he has a phone that can send him to any universe, which he uses for stealing the love interest of other MC's and keeping them for himself. Witness his first adventure as he goes to the Kung Fu Panda universe to conquer the Feline of the Furious Five, Tigress! *Part II via profile!


**Author's Notes**

 **Fro Ninja; This is the first part of a series of one shots that my good friend Jester convinced me to make after we had way too much Little Caesars pizza and cheesy bread. Honestly, this is will be the only time when I'm able to completely cut loose...and really fucked up. Though try not to think too hard about what I write here. Enjoy...**

* * *

 **Han's Perspective**

 **Han's Apartment**

 _ **It was around 12:30 when I finished jacking off.**_

My cum stuck to the ceiling as I shot off my 7th or 8th round when the porn I watched reached it climax. I managed to pause the video just in time before I saw the guy's face right when I came. My seat was in the new leather chair that I bought from Walmart last week. It was actually a new record in terms of distance and accuracy whenever I finish a session. This one flew around four-six meters between myself and the hightop ceiling. The last time I measured my distance which was around two years ago, I could barely hit anywhere between two-three meters long and the broad side of a barn. Yep, I'm getting good at this.

When I was done with my 8th session for the day, I wiped the sweat from my eyes, and ran to the kitchen to grab the last slice of pumpkin pie my sister made the other day. The door burst open as soon as I started eating, I didn't have any reason to see who it was, since she's the only person I know that would even step foot in my apartment.

"What the fuck?! Again?!" The angry chick is my little sister Sera. She's a sixteen year old furry french poodle that my dad found on an adventure of his, one that he never really gave details behind now that I think about it. She has a bitchy attitude, but I'll be damned if her body isn't downright sexy. She used to be really flat and frail like a stick when she was little, but it was around sixth or seventh grade that she started to get some massive tits and apple sized ass to match." When are you going to stop doing this?! The living room always looks this when I come over!" Looks like she was bitchier than usual this time. Maybe the fact that I was naked, eating her last slice of pumpkin pie with cum dripping all over the living room furniture had something do with it, I don't really know. For some reason ever since I was little, my body seemed to produce more sperm than the average male and really tends to build up over time, so I frequently masturbate on a daily basis. Sometimes eight to twelve times a day and I never get tired. But in the midst of this revelation, I couldn't help but just wonder in amazement of how fucking good this pumpkin pie was.

"Godddamit sis! Why are your pies always so fucking good?!"

"Thats not the issue here Hans! I'm fed up with me coming back to this place expecting a normal day after class, and instead finding out that you repainted the living room!" As she said that, a few droplings started to rain down from the ceiling into a puddle on top of the coffee table that I got my ex-girlfriend for our two year anniversary. Good thing I got the warranty on it when I had the chance. Don't bother asking why I still keep the stuff I bought her. I stopped asking myself that question when I found her fucking an entire site of construction workers. Compensation? I don't really know.

Oh yea, if you couldn't tell by now, my name is Hans Maynard. Twenty years old, and I work at one of the last remaining Hollywood videos on the face of the earth. I'm also a recognized child prodigy, a closet otaku, and a known sexual deviant in several countries. I've even made the black list a couple of times in Europe and Asia. I know. I'd be excited to meet me too!

"So? What brings you to my humble abode lil sis? Can't be that you were hoping for another quickie? You just had one this morning."

She starts blushing as I said that. "Shut up asshole." My little sister gave her virginity to me when she was in middle school. Since we both weren't good with relationships, we both decided it would suit us both to get the whole virgin thing out of the way. Nowadays she runs through boyfriends faster than Paris Hilton does with money on a shopping spree, but she still makes time for me whenever one of them doesn't hit it right, which is normally **all** the time. "I'm came to tell you that Dad won't be able to go exploring with you today, so you'll have to do it yourself." My mouth was so full of the delicious pumpkin pie, that I could barely hear what she was saying. Damn this is good, and I'm not even halfway done with it. "HANS!"

"Damn, you're annoying when you're angry. I think I like you better when you're horny." I said with my mouth stuffed to the brim.

"Will you listen to me already?! Dad said he can't make it, so you'll have to go without him!"

"OH! Why didn't you just say so?! I gotta get going if I'm make this plan happen!" Sera started jumping up and down, cursing and barking loudly. Her compressed tits really look good when she does that.

I finished as soon as I could, hopped in the bathroom for a quick shower, than put on the clothes I put aside for today's trip. I then grabbed my equipment from the bottom drawer of my dresser, and made sure I had everything ready.

"Sword, check. Gun 'case I wanna cap a bitch, check. Singularity manipulator device, check. And last but not least, you little guy!" It was an old Nokia cell phone that I won on at an online auction on Ebay, which the starting bid was only five dollars and there were only three buyers. As soon as I got the thing and turned it on, something weird happened that really changed my life. It brought me to another dimension. And not just any dimension like where the world ends because of that one guy who dropped his coffee in the washing machine, but the dimension of any book, movie, cartoon, anime, comic book, you name it. But since the function is pretty outdated, the worlds it brings me to are decided at random, and I once I get there I leave a starting point at wherever I land in the world. The catch is I only have an hour to spend in there, cause as much shit as possible, and get back to the starting point before it closes. Seems easy I know, but thats where the hard part comes in. See, I don't who installed this condition into the device, but I have to seduce the main heroine of that world, fuck her brains out, get proof that I did it, and then get back safely without any of the main cast trying to cut my head off. So yeah, I know how to spend a boring Saturday. "Alright sis, I'm off! Don't forget to clean up while I'm gone!"

"FUCK YOU!" Ahhh, I can tell she loves her big brother a lot.

I activated the cell phone's travel function and got ready to warp. It opens a huge ass inter-dimensional right in my bedroom, cracking my windows in and breaking the new bird feeding station that I set up from when I want to send out random mating calls to wandering lost souls. It's a passtime of mine. The dimensional door ripped open through my reality, rippling the lapses that surrounded it, allowing me to step cleanly through to whatever side it brings me to. This will be fun

 **Meanwhile in the Kung Fu Panda universe**

 **Tigress's perspective**

Training starts early on the rise for me. Running through the obstacle course, while at the same time making sure every wooden doll and statue that stands in my way feels my fist. Then afterward I sharpen my reflexes by continuously dodging disks flying toward me at speeds no normal eyes can see, or even detect with their senses alone. It requires the whole body to press beyond its limits and react with precision and deadly intent. Such is my style of Kung-fu, and it is a reflection of my inner self. As far back as I can remember, this has been my entire life, and I have dedicated myself to it in both mind body, spirit, but I still have not even grasped the essence of a what it means to be a true master. Even though I train constantly with my fellow comrades every single day from sunrise to sundown, I still cannot help that something is missing from my life, or is yet to happen to me in order to change my whole outlook on it.

"About 500 more..." I tell myself as I rapidly strike the inner most part of the iron bark tree next to the Shaolin temple. This has been my resource of strength since the day I took up martial arts, and I have continued to come back to it, when I'm in need of refined power or when I need seek answers. My palms strike quick and true as hits shake the tree with vigor and accuracy, but not with rage and fury. Master Shifu always teaches how true focus lies somewhere on a thin line between rage and serenity, and if a warrior were to somehow balance themselves between these two moral elements, they would be unstoppable. I am as far from serenity as I'd like to be to say the least.

My dear friend Po however seems to be almost the complete opposite of me in regards to that philosophy. Whenever I look at his face, it is usually one with a smile. Though he has not trained as nearly as long as me or any of the Furious Five, his potential far surpasses any other warrior I have seen thus far. Ever since the battle with Lord Shen, his aura has changed dramatically, although externally it is drowned in his usual pleasantness and cheer, but lately there is some elements of sadness behind it.

I try to drown out these worrisome thoughts by continuing my morning exercise with 300 palm strikes

to the iron bark, plus 600 sit ups, 700 push ups, and finally some sparring with Viper. This is my daily routine and my path to get stronger, and I would not have it any other way. As soon as I said that, I felt a strange presence off in the far distances. It was unlike anything I have ever felt until now, and it was power enough to rival that of my masters'. I told myself that this was impossible, and continued my training.

"Hey! Tigress!" Viper yelled out to me from the temple courtyard. Without a minute to waste, I raced to her position from my training spot. She had a look of distress on her face.

"Viper. You look troubled. What's the matter?"

"It's Master Shifu. He said he has detected a great power coming from a great distance. Even greater than his." I was shocked upon hearing that the presence I had just felt moments ago, was not only real but one that the Master admits was greater than his own.

"Does he know if it's friend or foe?"

"It's hard to say. The presence is still far, but it is coming here with great speed. Almost as if it is ripping through skies and beyond just to get here." As I started to ponder what this power could be and what it could mean to my home, Crane, Monkey, and Mantis showed up with the same look of distress. "I take it you all have heard the news?" They nodded without hesitation. This incoming energy was indeed real. "What does the master say? Should we take action?"

" We don't know the full strength of this new power, so master said it would be wise to just wait for it to reveal itself." Crane spoke. I was a bit upset that Master did not permit us to investigate this disturbance directly, but since I felt the potential of it compared to the him I could not do anything but to trust in his better judgment."

"Hey. Does anybody know where Po is?" Mantis asked. Come to think of it, I have not seen him since the morning exercises. Where ever he is, I just hope he stands clear. I don't think this is something even The Dragon Warrior can walk out of unscathed. But for me, there is not a single challenge I cannot take down.

 **Han's Perspective**

 **A few minutes after arriving in The Valley of Peace**

Okay then. I've only been in this dimension for about 5 minutes, and I'm already morally confused about everything that's been happening so far. First of all, why does everybody in this place look like a 8 year old furrie's wet dream. I spotted about 3 short pig people, plus a little bunny family that was sitting in a park filled with **normal** birds. There is some backwards evolution involved in this place I swear.

Continuing by little voyage through somewhere I shouldn't even be, I stopped by what I assume was an old noodle shop. Seeing as how I should sample foods from this universe, I took it upon myself to enter the shop. I took my seat in the corner, only to have a very large panda in what I think is the employee uniform around his waist. I think it's probably better that I don't ponder further...

"Hello bodacious customer! I am your humble servant, Po. And I will be taking commodity request this evening. _Word to wise, you should definitely try the noodles here, they'll blow you away. We even started serving a secret lunch menu, here's the hint...it's noodles..."_ For some reason I could hear the panda talking to me in plain English, and for some odd reason he sounded just like Jack Black if he suddenly made a sequel to School of Rock. I wasn't really hungry, but then again I didn't have a lot of time to waste either. So I better get straight to the point and just ask him.

"Yeah...um...who would you say has the nicest ass around here?"The minute those words came out of my mouth, it seemed like the whole world froze in its place. Everyone stopped to gander and see who had uttered such a strange statement. Something tells me that this is a kid friendly universe. "Sorry let me rephrase that...who is the most attractive person in this valley? For you see, I must seek her out." Then almost like magic, time started to move forward again as if Mom found the remote again and defaulted the language back from French to English.

"Oh! THAT'S what you said! Haha, Sorry. I...uh...don't really know who's the most 'attractive' or whatever you mean by that, but we definitely have a lot cute girls if that's what you're asking." I quickly took a look at all of the people sitting in the restaurant. Most I could find were the same bunnies and pigs that I saw earlier, only in slight recoloring and in different sizes. There was however a young bunny girl staring at me suggestively from the far side of where I was sitting. She winked at me, to which I responded with that one face you make when you meet a girl with a 'nice ' personality.

"Yeah, I'll just take your word for it..."

"So what brings you here traveler. I gotta say you look kind of...different from the people we get around here. Especially around your face and body..." Then he starts whispering in my ear."Are you one of those guys from the bottom of the lake?" Why do I feel I should be offended by that comment?

"Let's just say I'm from the south side of the valley..."

"And your skin is pretty brown too. Is that some kind of rash or something. Because I get those a lot." Hmmm...Should I kill this guy now or later?

So I don't lose track of the conversation, I just decide to have a quick bite of their dumplings as a little afternoon snack before I go hunting. Po also introduced me to his dad...who was an ostrich. Yeah this place makes sense every single second I'm here. After I finish munching down on the delicious gourmet, Po suddenly grabbed me and took me to his room. Worried about where this was headed, I clenched my buttcheeks just in case. When we got to his small shack of a room, he showed me his collection of action figures and trading cards of this famous Kung fu team called the Furious Five. When I asked Po about them, he said they were the 'most awesomest people that ever came from the awesome that ever awesomed'. Since I was fluent in dude, I could understand almost every word. From what he could tell me, The Furious Five were pretty much basically Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen, Sammo Hung having a fivesome with an underpaid hooker at the same time. But one member in particular had my whole attention. He told me her name is Tigress, who I had to guess was probably the leader of this wonderful ass-kicking team. Hearing that fact, the Babe-o-meter in my pants started to go off in alert, as well as my little homey.

I then asked Po about where I could find the Furious Five at. Apparently there were at this Shaolin temple that overlooks the entire valley. According to him, she was also the strongest out of all of them in terms of power. I was more excited than usual since I loved stripping the armor off of strong girls. Luckily Po was able to give me directions to the temple as well as a spare action figure of Tigress and an semi-autographed picture. I can put these to good use later.

Before I left Po's house, he stopped me in my tracks.

"Wait, wait. Are you going to the temple? I don't think you'll be able to make the trip, not many people can."

"Why's that?"

"One word... **Stairs.** "You gotta be joking.

"Stairs? That's what you're worried about? Dude I once subbed in for a torch runner at the Olympics in Beijing. I think I can handle a few stairs."

 **Outside of the Xiaolin Temple**

...Now I see what Po was talking about. Climbing up those stairs was no joke. By the time I got to the top I felt by breath trying to escape after only 20 minutes, then again if I didn't have the stamina to do even these kinds of things, how can I attempt to be a girlfriend stealer? Speaking of which, I never asked Po what Tigress was to him. He seemed to admire her a whole lot, but he never said anything beyond that. I turned back to ask the panda who was clearly out of his element with these stairs about the thought at hand.

"So Po. How do you feel about Tigress?"

"Oh Tigress? She's my best bud. Not to mention an awesome Kung Fu master, with her *kung fu yell* and her ***kung fu yell*,** and did I mention she was awesome?!"

"Yes you did...About fifty times in fact. But enough about that...what is she really like?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean does she get down and dirty with the fishes?"

"...I don't...know what that means. What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it. In a place like this, it's probably better if I don't say it."

As we got to the inner structure of the temple, Po started to show me around a bit. He then brought me to the courtyard to meet the rest of the Furious Five, who were all mysteriously absent.

"Huh. That's weird. Everybody's supposed to be sparring right now."

"Is it always like this?"

"Not really but-" Just before Po finished his sentence, I felt the aura of murderous intent coming from a nearby position. Soon a blazing right palm came straight for my face, since my reflexes were still a bit dumbed down from the travel method here, I had to block it. Then came in a flying kick from the opposite direction of where I was standing. I then quickly vaulted to the rightward direction in order to get a better position for a counter attack. Little did I know, there was poisonous like jab awaiting me on my blindside. Pushing my body past its' reduced limits, I managed to roll out of the attack zone and refresh my situation. "Hey guys! Guys! What are you doing?!" Hearing the familiarity in Po's voice, I can tell he knew the attackers, and now that I get a better look at them, I think I know them too. The Furious Five. Gotta say, they look a lot different from those action figures in his room.

"Po! Get away from that person!" Tigress said as she stood in front of Po, assuming her attack position, one that I could taste the power from. This chick knew her stuff when it comes to handing somebody on a platter.

"Tigress! Guys! Just chill out! Now I know he looks a little...different. But he's my friend! We bonded over noodles and dumplings, and I even showed him my collection of you guys! That means something." What can be said about intimacy to a panda's toy collection? Not a lot apparently, but I can dig it. "Trust me, he's...Ummm..." Po turned to me. "I...uh...never got your name."

"I'm not at the liberty to discuss that, but you can call me Mr. NTR!"

" ? What's that?" Po asked me.

"Because of the mood of this place...I'm not sure it's morally correct for me to say here." Trust me, if I say, I might set the whole world on fire.

"Enough of your games stranger! I shall end you here!" Tigress roared out to me. Kinky.

"Hey, hey, hey! Let's not be too hasty here, fellow charming...fluffy...furry...thing...people. I only wish to fulfill my sacred goal in this...peaceful home of yours with the other...fluffy people."

"And just what is this 'sacred' goal of yours?"Seeing as how I probably couldn't say it in public or just blurt it out, I decided show a more visual example on my phone. Managing to distract their attention for just a bit, I pulled up one of my favorite sites (at least the one I still have a premium membership for)And to nobody's surprise, they were all extremely thrown off their regular game. I showed one of my top 10 actresses to date. Even though she's retired, I still take the time out of my day to at least blow one load off to her. "W-w-w-what debauchery is this?!"

"THIS is what I'm going to be doing to you my dear Tigress." Her face then become blood red and with a hint erotic reaction in her...whiskers. "This is the whole reason I've come to this little slice paradise. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. The choice is yours. But to be honest with you I much prefer the hard way! No reward without risk and all that jazz." The most funny reaction by far was Po's with a scrunched up face of confusion. None of them knew what the hell they were looking at, which was all the greater to me. "Well, my dear Tigress? What's your answer? Do you accept my challenge?"

"I accept!" She answered without hesitation.

"Tigress?! Are you serious?! Don't you know what this guy will do to you if you lose?!" Mantis yelled out, who for some reason sounded like a sober Seth Rogen.

"So all I have to do is not lose. Simple enough right?" Well someone sounds confident. Who wouldn't if they knew they could kick someone's head clean off. I was both turned on and afraid.

We both took our stances on opposite sides of the sparring ring. Tigress took up an aggressive stance that could only be seen in those Shaolin movies. She had the attitude to match her strength, and the openings in her power were close from little to none. _'This wasn't gonna be easy'_ I thought to myself, but then again I loved it when they played hard to get.

"Anytime you're ready stranger." Noticing her readiness, I got into a little stance of my own. It wasn't much to look at. I was in a basic fighting position with both my hands in their fundamental 10 and 2 position and my feet spread apart. I'm honestly not that much of a fighter, but I would never back down if confronted with a challenge. But this challenge had a reward slapped onto it. Tigress began to laugh. "Hahaha! THAT'S your stance?! I assume you haven't seen REAL combat before, have you?"

"I may have dabbled a little here and there..."

"Your glibness does you no credit here. This is a sacred arena of two combatants. I will not have you mock it with your foolishness."

"Who's says I'm fooling around? I'm dead serious when it comes to pussy sweetheart, you included." Tigress blushed madly. I must have got under her skin, as I do have that affect on people. She growled as I gave her a wink before our match started. Po came out dressed in what I think is a referee's apron judging by the black and white stripes around his waist. He starts fidgeting in the ring as he knew chaos was about to rain down on this quiet little temple.

"I-is everybody ready?" Both of us gave no answer as we locked eyes to one another. There was no denying it at this point, she was obsessed with me at this point. All she could think about was how to take me down as quickly as possible, or even kill me dead. Even though it seems bad, this was a method to reaching my goal in a way. The first step in taking a love interest from the main character, is getting her to think about nothing but you. This is usually why douchebags have so much success getting women, that and having toned abs.

Po then raised his hand in order to signal the beginning of the match. "This will be a best of 1 fall match. If you're opponent lands a clean hit on the other, or steps out of the ring, the match is over. Understood?" We both nodded, while still keeping our eyes peeled. "Then! Let the match...BEGIN!"

As soon as Po finished his announcement, Tigress came charging straight at me with no restrictions whatsover. I could tell she was angry, but that wasn't going to amount to much. Her punches came flying in from left and right, and I began to bob and weave according to their trajectory. Though I wasn't that fast right now, I could still get one up on her by predicting her moves in this angry state of hers. My timing was off by a few seconds, and one of her cheeks ended up grazing past my cheek throwing me off guard.

She moved forward with a straight left kick towards my head. With what little reflexes I had, I got low and slid past her kick by pushing forward with my pivot foot while on my left knee. She quickly turned around with that same leg that delivered the straight, and brought it down with a blazing ax kick toward my face. Seeing as how I didn't have enough momentum to dodge effectively, I caught the heel of her foot with my right hand as she swung with her left hand to deliver a hook punch. Not thinking about what ifs, I left it up to my instincts in order to decide what to do next. Luckily it was the right choice, as I twisted her foot and swept her with my leg that was still stationary, preventing her from landing the punch. Tigress began to trip up from my sweep but recovered just in time with her tail that held up her balance. I retreated to a safe position in the ring, while she regained her stance. She cracked her knuckles in intimidation.

"Not bad! I have to say I thought you would barely last a second with me as your opponent. Your tomfoolery definitely shows in your style."

"Thank you for the lovely compliment." Tigress let out a fierce roar.

"It wasn't a compliment you buffoon! You have no chance against me, and I shall end you here, along with your debauchery!" Without a moments rest, she dashed toward me with a punch in tow just for me. The distance closed quickly between us, and before I knew it, she was already already in my personal space, with her fist already reaching for my face. " THIS IS THE END!" And at that moment, it's as if time stood still around me, and Tigress who flew in such tenacity and speed was now moving forward in slow motion. It seems my numbed senses were starting to return back to normal. I felt my body respond more effectively than it did just a few minutes ago. Everything felt like it was flowing like a river, and senses felt like an extension of what I could touch...In other words I was ready to start kicking the ass-kicking. In the instant, which seemed like a minute on my end, I readied myself in an entirely new stance, but it was one that I hadn't taken in a long time, not since I was kid anyway. I quickly grabbed Tigress's arm with my right hand and pushed forward on my left foot, arching my back at the same time and moving the elbow of my left arm toward her midsection, all in one motion. I closed my eyes to blink and began counting my breaths. _One, two...three...FOUR!_ With my last breath, I charged the impact of my elbow launched it towards Tigress's ribs. By the time I opened my eyes again, I already sent her flying towards the other side of the ring, about 3 or 4 feet away from me.

"Oh shit! Didn't mean to hit you that hard baby! I swear I thought I was holding back!" As Tigress struggled to stand up after receiving my accidentally strong as hell elbow, the rest of the Furious Five and Po stood there in awe. Why wouldn't they? I'm just that awesome.

"Whoaaa...Hans how did...how did you do that?! Where did you learn those moves?!" Po asked me a so many questions at once I'm surprised he didn't run out of breath.

"My dad was always busy adventuring when I was a kid. So he left me with these monks in the Kun Lun mountains of Western China. They were experts in mostly every Shaolin martial art there was, so I just...picked it up."

"Picked it up? Picked it up?!" Tigress who was still tipsy from that hit raged out on me. " You just happened to **pick up** the art of Kung Fu, a style that takes years and years of preparation, discipline, and training?!Impossible! Only a grandmaster could have landed that blow just now in the way that you did!"

"Okay, okay. I admit. I am a bit rusty seeing as how I usually spend my time masturbating and working to practice my arts. But it worked on you didn't it sweetheart? But seriously haven't you ever watched those cheesy karate flicks from the 80's? The main guys become masters in like a few weeks compared to guys who have trained their whole lives. It's really not that surprising. And your buddy Po here did it too." Hearing his name pop out of my mouth caused Po to jitter in fear. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Po got his skills that long ago. Though it would be hard to figure who would win between the two of us. "Soooo, are you ready to become my little love pet? My johnny is starving right now, and you're the main course!"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" In a fit, she rushed toward me with her fist already balled up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there buttercup!" The second I said that she was stopped dead in her tracks by her friends, who all had the look of distress on their face. "If I recall, this sparring match was a best of one clean hit wasn't it? What sent you flying just now? Hmmm?" Pretty soon the shock of the result appeared on her face clear as day. Even Po was distraught at what just happened. One of the strongest people he knows just lost to some random dude. Who wouldn't be disturbed.? Looking at my watch, I saw that I only had about 2 minutes to get back. Dammit! Those stairs really took a number out of my schedule. But it was okay, I could improvise. But before that... "Po! If you would announce the results of this little scrap!" I raised my hand in victory, while at the same time pulling off a celebratory booty dance.

"The winner is...Hans." Tigress slammed her fist to the ground in shame. And the rest of the Furious Five lamented in fear of what was about to happen to her. Don't you guys worry, I will be as gentle as possible with the young martial artist. As much as I could be.

…..

After the match was over, I took one of Po's makeshift fireworks cart in order to rush me back to the portal back in the mountains outside the valley, with Tigress in tow. Because I couldn't finish my business at the temple in time, I decided to take her with me back to my place, which was risky in its own right. Taking things or people from its original dimension or reality can have some huge repercussions on the property itself. As you can tell, I quickly got used to calling my new pet that.

"So where are you taking me?"

"Ohhh. Nowhere special. Just another dimension, different from the one you know." She look puzzled.

"Dimension? You speak strange words for one so homely."

"Finally warming up to me huh?"

"Silence!" Even though she didn't realize it, her cuteness was starting to shine through now. I guess Po was too stupid to realize that in the first place. So I felt no remorse snatching his chick.

I was told that their master was coming to stop me once Tigress lost to me, so I quickly decided to skip town. She was still mad, but she was gonna get to know my soft side pretty soon. As soon as we reached the portal that I placed, I could hear the distinct sound of voices coming from behind me. Po and the rest of the Furious Five, and what I assumed to be their master were following suit as I got off fire work cart. They all began running towards me and Tigress, with of rage and anger. I just started laughing.

"Hey look! Your friends came to say goodbye." I told Tigress who looking off in the distance. I could tell she was still shocked over what just happened.

With less than 15 seconds on the timer left, I quickly grabbed Tigress's hand and rushed through the portal just before it closed in on us, shutting out the world behind.

 **Back at Han's apartment**

"Home, sweet home!" I yelled out as I made it back safely. Tigress began to look around my room in awe and intrigue. "Like what you see?" I said.

"Do not try and swindle me, fool. I am onto your game. You may think that because you won a simple sparring match that you have truly bested me, but have yet to learn that I cannot be controlled by **anyone!** " Oh man, this was gonna be so much fun. If she says one more defiant word... "Expect not a thing from me related to submission. You will not cage me!" With that word, I quickly sprung out of my clothes and tackled Tigress toward my bed and pinned her down. "Why you!"

"Relax pussy cat. Uncle Hans is gonna make it all better..." Expecting a rise out her, she stayed quiet but resistant. I started to slide my hand down her gi, locating her breasts. Groping them with firm force, I hear her let out a tiny groan of pleasure. Seeing that she displayed this show of weakness, she went right back to being quiet. Seeing as how she wanted to put up a strong front, I put a greater force behind my groping. My hands moved up and down her chest obscenely. Eventually I took out her breasts from her karate gi. They weren't much to look at, but the perkiness was enough to keep me interested.

I skillfully started to move my hands around her mounds, teasing her nipples as a bonus. I voluntarily start to pinch her nipples almost as if they were cranberries being squished by my fingers. Her voice let out squeaks ever now and then but her voice started to grow louder my the minute. I then begin to direct my other hand down towards her crotch and slip under her pants.

"Hmmm, going commando huh? I can dig that."

"Shut your mouth fool..." Ignoring her insult, I soldiered on.

I had to glide around her bushy fur to find her sweet spot, but I knew I found it once her body started to arch. A sensation that she never knew before had just enticed her to pull off an unconscious motion. With that, her voice could be heard loud and clear. I began to rapidly fondle her vagina with my index and middle finger up and down. She began to let out more moans and groans as my fingers drew circles around her labia, and my other hand still working around her now exposed breast. My hands began working in sync with eachother, trying to bring her to utmost pleasure. Soon my hands covering her vagina started to venture inside of her walls. Since this was her first time, I decided to hold back in finding her wet spot and focus on just making her hot.

"That feel good baby?"

"T-this...is...nothing! I feel absolutely nothing from your lewdness!" I sighed

"A trooper till the end huh? Don't worry I got just the thing for that." I then took out a bottle of liquid aphrodisiac that was lying on the floor next to my bed. I took a swig of the thing and left it swirling around in my mouth. I then gave Tigress a kiss on her lips, exchanging languages in our own way. Saliva began to leak from both of our mouths as both of our tongues wrestled with eachother. Soon the flavor of the aphrodisiac that was sitting on my tongue fell onto hers in the middle of our frenching. The drug was fast acting, so it wasn't long until I saw a reaction in her. Her body started to twist and jerk as the heat from her body increased. I knew she was feeling it. I then resumed my attack on her body, with my tongue searching the remainder of her body, and falling everywhere with grace. My hands acted along with the movements of my tongue. Growing impatient I start to dry hump her leg with my bulging erection. At the same time I start to become more aggressive with my foreplay, as my hands move faster in her vagina and my tongue begins to hit pressure points all over her. "How's that?" I said with my tongue still moving around her chest. She began to yelp and purr with every stroke and run, almost as if she was struggling to get a word out. How cute. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. You're body is gonna tell me everything in a minute."

I then move forward with my foreplay by taking off her pants completely, exposing her pink flesh, which she tries to shyly cover up.

"N-n-no. Don't look..."

"Don't look at what?" She fidgets timidly as she continued to find her words. Right now I'm playing mind games with her. I've been with enough chicks to know that it has different effects, but for tough chicks like this, it works perfectly well.

"M-my-my..."

"Say it..." I whisper in her ear suggestively.

"M-my-my...pussy."

"Louder sweetheart..."

"My-my pussy..."

"Good girl." As I said this I gently began to push aside her hands which had been blocking her entrance. It's barely been that long since we got started and she was already sopping wet with anticipation. My crotch begins to respond as her pheromones began to leak out of her. The tough and iron willed Tigress was now sitting on my bed with her breast and pussy exposed to me. Hot! With her in this state, I could do anything to this chick, and she wouldn't resist. This was surprising, as it didn't really take me much effort to strip down her defenses like that. I then begin to give into my desires.

I completely undress her with her whole body staring me down.

"D-don't look at me please..." She says with a bashful face as she tries to cover up her whole body.

"Why? You're so beautiful..." I give a light kiss on her cheek.

"You lewd fool..." She said with barely any fire in her voice. I'm sure it was partly because of the drugs, but because I was about to fuck another furry animal other than my sister, I started to get more excited than usual. I haven't had sex under such normal conditions since high school. Mind you the transition to this scene wasn't exactly what I call normal, but anything goes.

"Are you afraid Tigress?"

"No...but I want to feel good..." She answers me, embarrased. "I don't know how and I don't know why, but I want to do it so much I can hardly stand it... It's so strange, I've never done something like this before. I've always been focused on my training, so I've never had time to engage in a relationship." She said as she writhes timidly.

"Don't worry. I don't get chances to do something like this either." Of course I'm lying out of my ass right now, but those other times, I never felt anything more than physical pleasure. With Tigress I felt something more...

"It's okay...We may not have started out on the most good terms, but I want to look past all of that right now..." She says and looks away, embarrassed. She looked so dear to me, I wanted to hold her tightly. Not being able to take anymore, I move the tip of my crotch closer to her hole.

"I'm going to put it in now..." She nods her head. I then bring my tip closer to her crevice. I feel my head pushing against her opening, and push my hips forward. Soon my tip pushes her labia open, and my johnny slowly slides into her. As I enter her, her whole body stiffens as she endures the pain, though as a martial arts master she gets over it quite quickly. Since she is practically flooding, my thing goes in very easily. "Does it hurt?"

"I'm fine...Just do what you have to do..." I indulge myself in her statement and push myself in all the way. When I'm all the way in, she shudders her face, and her body twists in pain. Though this isn't my first time feeling such a sensation, I never get tired of it! And the stimulation sends sparks to my brain and through my whole body. My body refusing to listen to me as the sensation engulfs my crotch, I begin move furiously inside of her.

She starts to shake and wiggle as she experiences this for the first time. With every stroke, I feel huge waves of pleasure taking me apart.

"Damn girl! It is really snug in there!"

"Ahhh...ngg...don't say stuff like that!" I continue to rapidly pump her and look straight into her eyes. Just an hour ago, we were trying to punch each other's faces in, but now I'm fucking her. My body picks up on the fact, and I begin to move faster as the pleasure increases gradually. "Ohh! Ohhh! Your thing is...moving...inside of...me! I...feel...so dirty." Oh man! If Po were watching this, he would need more bamboo sticks than the world could supply. Soon the level of pleasure begins to rise in her, as her moans go from pain and timidness to those of pure passion. Soon our hips begin to move in sync as her body tells her that she is feeling what's happening right now. She sounds less embarrassed and cold than she did earlier as she starts to accept the feelings inside of her.

…...

We continue to rock and rock as she constantly lets out groans and roars of pleasure as the hours pass up by. Our bodies felt like jello from the amount of sweat we started to take on. My room smelled like fish and cat piss, and my bed had scratches and stains all over it. At this point it felt like a game that I had logged in about 4 hours of gameplay, but I haven't saved yet. But the game had managed to glitch enough times to make it to the point where it became an internet meme. I haven't been able to eloquently summarize me having sex like this before in a while!

"I can't...believe ...this...I've never...felt ...like this...before! From such a lewd, shameless, and obscene man!" Her harsh, but erotic words ring like honey to my ears as I piston her again for fifty thousandth time. As I hit her with with more strokes, my body begins to feel like it's gonna ascend to the moon or some shit!

"Tigress...I'm about to...finish again! Can I just finish like this?!"

"Yes! Please! I will accept all of you!" Looking at Tigress's face, I breathe heavily as I'm getting closer to my 9th climax. Come to think of it I already jacked off 8 times this morning, so this would make this my 17th ejaculation for the day, however Tigress was on her 9th. I was unusually horny today for some reason. It must have been Tuesday. I wanted to dump everything inside Tigress again...so I keep thinking that as I thrust my hips fiercely and rapidly. Every time I thrust, her body twitches as the countless amounts of pleasure race through her body, which makes me thrust her even more. I guess she forgot it was her first time since she has been starting to use her hips more to bring herself more pleasure and in return, me stimulation. Our bodies continue to collide with each other as the sounds echo throughout my room. I look at the state that Tigress is in and can't control myself any longer!

"Here I come! Here I come! I'm coming again!"

"Please...come! Fill me up even more! I'm going...too...as well!" As I hear Tigress moan out of pure bliss, I cross over to my own climax. I am then swallowed by a wave of pleasure as I began to ejaculate inside of her again. She takes my hot bodily fluid once more into her womb and shakes out of her own ecstasy. I continue to feel good as my daycare streams inside of her. Although it's been my 9th ejaculation for this session, but my 17th overall, I still feel I have more to release as Tigress accepts everything I have. Soon her vagina becomes sticky and gooey with my special sauce. "Ahhh...it's so full...I can't fit anymore..." Even though she says that, I still continue to release everything inside of her." There's...still more? It's...so warm." She sits in amazement as white fluid continues to spray inside her, and eventually all over face and mound as well. I shake and release everything that I had. Her face littered with my stuff, she didn't seem to mind as she non-chanlantly wiped it off of her. After I released everything, I felt exhausted, and then fall asleep next to Tigress.

* * *

 **The next morning**

With the smell of waffles with pecans filling the air, I bring the breakfast closer to an eager Tigress who is wearing one of my old button up T-shirts with a 2 year old coffee stain on it. As I made both of us a plate, she began to purr softly next to me. She wanted me to feed her apparently.

"These...waffles of yours, they taste quite good. I have to say I'm quite impressed."

" I could pretty much cook anything you want if you start to get a little homesick."

"That won't be necessary. I'm feeling quite at home already with you..."She said she purred and rubbed against my face

"Wow. Those are words I was NOT expecting here from you when we first met. Which was yesterday believe it or not."

"I still cannot believe it honestly."

"Shall I give you some more proof?" I said as she giggled.

As we played the role of newlyweds cuddling and snuggled together just sharing their honeymoon, reality struck my brain as I looked at the clock. It was almost after 9:30, and I had to go to work at one of the worst remaining places on earth. Hollywood videos. It's pretty shocking to think there was one all the out here but it managed to find itself in this crack of my neighborhood.

I told Tigress about my situation and what was gonna happen next as I got myself dressed and ready to go to work. I apologized deeply for taking her from her world, and practically drugging her to have sex with some random guy. Despite her attitude, she was calm about the whole thing. I also told her she was free to use my phone to go back to her world, but she calmly said 'no', as she felt it just wouldn't feel the same if I weren't there. I'm pretty sure that's Mr.P talking, but who am I to judge. I told her she was welcome to stay here as long as she wanted as long as she wouldn't mind that what I did to her, I'm eventually going to be doing to other love interests from other dimensions. To which she calmly obliged. I softly kissed her on the head and went out the door.

As I took my usual boring as hell stroll to work, thoughts began to flood into my head that if I start to steal other women from main characters and bring them to my house...I was gonna need space for all of them. With that thought in mind, I called up my old boy Scotty who was in construction and was looking for work. I hear the phone pick up on the other line

"Yo Scotty!" I hear his husky voice answer.

"Hans you sonuvabitch! How you been?!"

"You know man, just Rick Rossing it, not loving these hoes."

"I hear you man! So what did you want?"

"Listen...uh...you remember that **plan** I showed you when we were in high school?" Scotty stayed silent for a while, anticipating my response to his question.

"You mean **that plan?"**

"Yep. I'm moving forward with it. I already got my first girl."

"I'll start getting the blueprints ready!" Scotty immediately hung up once I told him about it. I didn't have to tell him anything detailed since he already knew what was happening. I then took out my traveler phone as it began blink lights and vibrate all over. And tons of ideas began to swirl in my head on how I would handle the next target. The fun was just starting...

 _Bekloppt Chronicles Part I End._

 **Author's notes**

 **Froninja; There you have it... Don't forget to show some love to yours truly, and be on the look out for part two coming out later this month.**

 **-One Love**


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